Two Essential Communication Tools
Simple Storytelling and Curious Questioning form two key communication tools essential to any situation where there might be a difference of opinions. Whether in your personal life or in business, nurturing good communication tools provides strategies to manage common negotiations and complex conflicts. These tools exist not as the only aspects of effective communication but rather establish some basic skills.
Simple Storytelling
Being able to relate a story from your past experience, the life of another, or even a fable can give layers of meaning and allow people to observe the example in all its complexity. A simple story provides a perspective, offers an example (either positive or negative), or communicates values. At the most basic level a story is combined with a key learning and functions as an illustration. More complex storytelling we’ll keep for another post.
The power of the story comes in the desire for us to enter into the story. It is a form of entertainment that pulls the hearer in closer and give opportunity for true listening to happen. Keep the story story. Eliminate rabbit trails. Know where the story starts and how it ends. This is why testimonials/reviews are so critical in the sales arena.
One of the best examples of using stories as a brand has to be the company that makes SUGRU. I found out about the amazing moldable glue from all their testimonial videos. The company highlights DIY videos of people using their product for the most interesting ideas. So many excellent uses for the product.
Did you just check out SUGRU from that story I just shared? Are you at least curious?
Curious Questioning
Learning to ask questions that cause people to think and re-think requires constant refinement. Curious Questions emerge out of a genuine desire to come to a shared understanding of the topic. There must be an openness from the one asking the question to consider a different perspective. In order to do that it good to include in the question an appeal to a shared value or perspective followed by a genuine appeal to understand a point of difference.
When working with a vendor you might find yourself in a place where you ask the following question.
I appreciate that you are committed like I am to eliminating unnecessary packaging in order to reduce waste. Can you then help me understand how your bringing my one order in three separate small shipments fits into that commitment?
The first statement needs to be genuine and a shared value that comes along side the person rather than being the adversary. The phrase “can you help me understand” is key to the curious question. It admits that I don’t understand and that I’m willing to have the other person enlighten me. It also empowers the one receiving the question as having a legitimate perspective and even a more informed perspective than I do.
Another curious questions can also begin with the phrase, “what if we/our…” It is an opening that invites perspective change. It only works if you are willing to make a change yourself and truly hear what the other perspective is. Another variant would be “What would it look like if…”. The key is open up possibilities and invite change through ownership.
A curious question must be open to a response. Creating it as a rhetorical question often just enflames the situation and causes more entrenchment. Modeling curiosity and perspective changing is a principle tool for making change.
Now try it - and let me know how it works.
