Falling in Love on the White Beaches of Florida

Falling in love is a peculiar turn of phrase. Very little falling actually happens. It happens in the mind; however, location helps and the beautiful white sand beaches of Florida create a beautiful backdrop for this story.

In August of 1993 I ventured into my ministry career as a teacher at a small private school called, Mount Salem Christian School. I may have just graduated with a Bachelor of Religious Education but I was as green as could be about teaching. I would be teaching grades 7 and 8 along with supervising video school for the 4 or 5 students in grades 9-12.

Road Trip South

In preparation for teaching the curriculum I made the pilgrimage to Pensacola, Florida. There the curriculum developers instructed would be teachers in the best methodologies of quizzing, testing, and bulletin board design. I didn't go alone. The principal of MSCS, Lena, and another young teacher, named Trudy Fehr, traveled together with me. The three of us quickly found ways to leverage our sarcastic wit against each other. Inside jokes formed quickly as we made fun of each other and the peculiar signs that lined the highways to Florida.

My mom had introduced me to Trudy nine months earlier while I was home on break from college. In the subsequent months Trudy had effectively deflected my attempts to date her. During one serious conversation Trudy informed me that she had no room for a romantic relationship. In fact, only days before this trip Trudy had signed a contract with her roommate that she would "never, ever, ever, date Patrick Friesen."

Lena was married and served as the "chaperone" for what could have otherwise turned into a flirtatious waste of a week. I settled into the notion that Trudy had no desire for a romantic relationship, but I also knew that she hadn't really had time to get to know the real me and perhaps all we needed was some quality time together.

White Sands of Pensacola

After we arrived in Pensacola, and had settled into our hotel we went down to the beautiful beaches to check out the surf and enjoy the gulf air. The evening was settling in and to be honest had we been alone I might have been nervous, smitten by the attention of a beautiful young woman. However, with Lena present any opportunity for romance was out the window. The best case would be to carry on with the friendly banter between the three of us.

As we were walking along the white sand of Pensacola beach, Trudy asked an otherwise innocent question. "I wonder why the sand is so white on this beach?"

Now as those of you who know me and perhaps other members of my family, an open wonder and why question is the prime opportunity for us to share our infinite imagination in the guise of wisdom. So without missing a beat I replied, "well you see the water here has a high salt content and as the water washes up on the beach the water is evaporated and what is left is pure salt."

"Really??!?", Trudy asked incredulously.

"Yeah," I said, "taste it."

And with that slight suggestion she bent over, pinched some sand between her fingers, and put it into her mouth. As quickly as it had gone in, she spat it out. My face gleamed with satisfaction and delight. Trudy had fallen for the trick and perhaps it would mean falling for me a bit more. Little did I know at that moment that it would be the last time she would fall for anything like that from me again.

Salt-shaker

The seminar that I was taking required strict attendance, so I never made it back to the beach. Trudy and Lena, on the other hand, took their afternoon off and returned to the beach. There Trudy purchased a salt shaker from a tourist stand, filled it with sand. As we were about to leave for home, Trudy presented it to me as a peace offering. Gifts, even humorous ones, function as a gauge for receptivity and love. She had just spoken my love language and perhaps was falling in love.

It took four more months of practical jokes and long conversations until Trudy was ready to make our relationship exclusive. And a year after the trip to Pensacola we got married in her parents backyard. Quickly Trudy learned to read the twinkle in my eye as I tried similar tactics on other unsuspecting innocent inquirers. In the 27 years since that trip to Pensacola, our ability to trust the other has been tested. It is amazing what love and forgiveness can do to overcome the breaking of trust.

On Humour

A recent personal assessment confirmed that humour is one of my keen abilities. As I remember this story I realize how simplistic humour tends to come at the expense of someone else. Making fun of the lesser person, the "invisible status" or even the enemy, encourages the group to elevate themselves by laughing at the other. Unfortunately, I have to confess that too often have leaned heavily on this type of humour.

Even self-deprecating humour comes at our own expense. However, when we allow ourselves to be the punchline, we hand over power to others. When we can laugh at ourselves, we disarm the hierarchy that exists and admit our own weakness and faults. And sometimes we end up falling in love.